Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Social comparison is a fundamental part of human nature, so if you are, then it is entirely normal. Whether it’s comparing your car with your neighbor’s car or comparing yourself to your friends and what you’ve achieved in your life vs. what they’ve achieved, we may find ourselves doing this in many circumstances and it can often leave us feeling like comparison is the thief of joy.
Some would say that social media has a lot to answer for. It could be considered the ultimate tool for comparison, as it can sometimes be a form of bragging where people show off their material possessions or life achievements, in perfectly curated snapshots or reels. Likes, comments, and follower counts are an easy yardstick to compare yourself with others, but you may feel like comparison is the thief of joy, when engagement is low and that validation is missing.
Many articles on this topic focus only on the negatives when considering whether comparison is the thief of joy, but in my experience this issue is not black and white. Hopefully, this post will give you a balanced view by looking at some of the benefits of healthy comparison too.
Six Reasons Why Comparison is The Thief of Joy (and some solutions for healthier comparisons)
1 Happiness Killer
If we incessantly measure ourselves against others – whether in relation to achievements, appearance, or the things we own (or aspire to own) – we may end up feeling less happy.
This is because we are focusing on what we lack, rather than appreciating, and being grateful for, what we have. Personally, I find it very challenging to enjoy my own accomplishments if I see them as being overshadowed by the achievements of others.
2 Limits Personal Growth
Constant comparison can end up breeding a culture of conformity. Instead of embracing our unique strengths and choosing our own direction in life, we might steer toward copying others’ choices.
Comparison blurs uniqueness and can stunt our personal growth. Remember that each person’s journey is distinct and individual so try to follow your own path.
3 Reality Distortion
Social media can have the effect of emphasizing comparison by creating an illusion of perfection – if you buy into that you may end up with unrealistic standards and a skewed perception of reality. It is easy to see how scrolling through your friends’ adventures, achievements, and social gatherings online constantly could make you make feel inadequate, because it seems like everyone has a more fun, and successful life, than you.
Be mindful and try to consciously choose content that uplifts and inspires, rather than things that trigger negative feelings – how you consume social media can have a big impact on your well-being and mental health. Most of all, consider taking some time out from tech.
4 Fosters Envy and Resentment
If you constantly compare yourself to others, you could be one step away from envying them. Resenting people you perceive to be doing better than you, is toxic behavior and it is likely to be damaging, to a greater or lesser extent, to everyone involved.
On the other hand, healthy envy can be useful – rather than judging ourselves for being envious we can use our feelings of envy to identify what is missing from our lives and consider if we could take steps towards achieving that (to the extent that is possible!). This article from Inc.com has some more ideas about healthy envy.
5 Undermines Self-Worth
Witnessing our peers hitting life milestones – careers, relationships, or travels – can get us down if we don’t have a positive outlook on other people being successful. If we perceive the fact that we have not achieved certain things, for example, owning a massive house, as a failure, that can make us start to question our abilities, self-worth, and value in life.
A healthier comparison in this context could be to use the goal of owning a bigger home (as accomplished by a peer) as your motivation for trying to achieve that, so that you are emulating their success to your benefit.
6 Damages Relationships
Another reason that people say comparison is the thief of joy, is that it can poison relationships. Whether in friendships, family dynamics, or workplaces, the constant need to out-do or match others can place a strain upon relationships.
At the worst, constantly comparing yourself to your family and friends could lead you to think of them as your rivals – is that really how you want to think of your treasured loved ones? These relationships, and the happiness and support that they bring you, are often far more important than things.
So the next time you feel yourself starting to compete with your nearest and dearest, take a step back. Instead, try to wish them well and be happy that they are succeeding in life. Some people believe that if you have a positive mindset and surround yourself with successful people you, yourself, will do well, because success is contagious.
Two Compelling Reasons Why Comparison is NOT The Thief Of Joy
1 Self-reflection
Comparing oneself to others in a more strategic way, as a means to self-reflect, can help us to identify areas for growth. Considering others’ achievements in an objective manner can offer valuable insights personal development if done in a healthy way.
So, if you have a colleague who you feel is more capable than you in something – for example, presentation skills – instead of feeling discouraged, observe them carefully, analyze their techniques, such as the way they structure their content, engage the audience, and use visual aids. Learn from your colleague’s strengths and implement changes to enhance your own presentations and expand your skill set.
2 Learning from Others
Biologists and social anthropologists would argue that comparison has been essential for the development of the human race. Without comparing ourselves to others and striving to out-do them – which is sometimes necessary for survival – we would not have been able to progress and evolve as we have.
Final Thoughts
The statement that comparison is the thief of joy is a bold assertion, but it does not always have to be true. Comparison cannot be avoided – it is a natural human behavior – but it is helpful to be aware of the downsides, so that if possible, you can steer yourself towards healthier comparisons that serve you rather than get you down.
Comparison is the thief of joy wherever we fail to recognize its detrimental impact on our well-being. Instead, have a healthier mindset and appreciate your unique journey without ruining it through incessant comparisons.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this piece about whether comparison is the thief of joy. Feel free to pin and share this article, and come back soon to discover the latest posts!